Leaders need counseling too. I discovered that whatever my qualities may be, I still have my weaknesses. But I don’t see them as weaknesses- just things that aren’t strengths yet. I discovered that there are situations where I don’t know what to say, or how to comfort the downtrodden and to “lift up the hands that hang down.” All I could do was sit and listen, discerning the sobs, and offer a shoulder to cry on. I’m glad I was someone who he felt he could trust- that there was somebody he could turn to. And I’m grateful to the Protestant Chaplain who has served faithfully for the past 20 years as a professional counselor to Soldiers. He coached me through those first rough hours, and taught me significant lessons that I as a leader needed to know to adequately counsel my Soldiers. And I thought with a measly 18 years of exercising the priesthood that I had it all figured out…
Make sure you consider the immeasurable heartache infidelity causes. Yes, life is difficult, especially when you carry burdens alone. I'm disheartened when some 'professionals' remark that her actions were normal and to be expected under these circumstances. She's normal and has needs- we are all free to make our own choices. He and I feel differently- we cannot settle for what others may deem is normal. Civilized society will fret and speculate what debauchery their sons, husbands and fathers are indulging in this rugged land- seemingly void of redeeming qualities, and with only their consciences as a moral guide. But I am here. I see the vast majority of men who strive everyday to be the man, the idealistic hero their loved ones remember them to be, imagine them to be, or just pray for them to be. Those we leave behind are dealing with their own struggles and choices as well.
What I see now is a man whose world just came crashing to an end. A pitiful, shaking, crushed man, screaming his sobs into my chest. We hadn’t met until a month ago. They are his whole life. The feelings he expressed were very familiar to me. Without her, without them, none of THIS means anything.
“(They) were inspired by a better cause, for they were not fighting for monarchy nor power but they were fighting for their homes and their liberties, their wives and their children, and their all…” (Alma 43:45)
When you’ve given your whole heart and life over to someone, there is nothing left to care for, no room for anything else. Nine years…two children…their whole lives and futures ahead of them. I am not about to throw in the towel, but I realize it is very difficult to work through such significant issues over the miniscule, impotent medium of telephones and computers. Such weaknesses must be counterbalanced by reliance on the All Powerful Medium.