This is one of my favorite pictures. Not because I’m in it…or the mustang. It’s Karley. Something about her. The way she held her mouth, her posture, even her arms…so Karley. Even down to the flip-flops and swim goggles. I froze the digital picture frame on this picture last night and just stared at it for a while. Started to chuckle- which turned into a laugh. I thought it was odd that I’d be giggling at a photo, but then the tears started, and within moments I found myself crying. I guess the emotions were just trying to get out. Any emotion…any way they could. And I let them. Wasn’t even really sad. I figure it was just all the different pent up emotions built up over time that decided they needed an outlet. It’s not easy to cry yourself to sleep in a room with 2 other guys. Brian writes a letter to his wife every night- he probably wrote, “Something’s wrong with CPT Spillane…I think he’s crying.”
Maybe I hid it well. In all my efforts to be brave and be strong, do I ever cave in? Do I let myself realize just how much I really do love and miss them? ‘Cause it is a lot. They’re growing up without me…changing every day.