Creeping up to the half way mark out here. Finally took the plunge and made contact with my career manager. He just took the position, so I had to catch him up on who I was and why I’m here. Because he and I are unknowns to each other, there is always some trepidation. Approach it wrong, and I could be manning an outpost in Ethiopia for the rest of my life. Maybe not that drastic, but it definitely has the potential to be just as painful. So I spent considerable time contemplating what it is, exactly, that I want. I’m not going to get it all, so I had to prioritize what really mattered. You all should know what I didn’t tell him…..
I had one ambition when I joined this man’s army. I wanted to be a Captain flying MEDEVAC in a real combat situation. That’s it. And here I am. I had no future plans, no great agenda with stars gleaming in my eyes. So when my commanders tout my ‘great potential’ and dangle to proverbial carrot, I am torn as to what my response should be. It’s not a question of ability…it’s a question of ambition. Trudging through the years of operational staff positions to check all the right boxes and maybe, someday, be able to complete for a chance to possibly be considered for a higher level commander- just doesn’t resonate with me. Why can’t I just stay where I am. Let me keep flying. But the road is coming to a fork. And I know which way I have to go….